A 'new' first 23 years in the making

Days since upgrade: 22

Tonight is a really important 'new first' in my implantee life - I shall try and explain.

I've always been a huge music lover. Ever since I was old enough to buy my own music (first single I bought was Beat Surrender by The Jam, see I even have good taste), I have been passionate about music, across many genres.

In case you are wondering, no my deafness was NOT brought about by listening to loud music (it's via autoimmune disease).

Anyway, to lose my hearing, also meant being cut off brutally from one of the biggest passions in my life, music. Music connects us and helps us to interpret how we are feeling in so many ways. You only have to hear a few beats of a favourite piece of music, and you can be right back somewhere with a memory, good or not so good. Losing my connection to music also meant losing my connection to all of these memories too - it was too much to bear, so I sold all of my precious vinyl collection as I never expected to be able to be able to listen to them ever again. Keeping them would have been too much of a reminder of what I could no longer have.

Losing my hearing also meant the end of gig going too. I have been lucky enough to see some greats - Guns n Roses, The Cult, Megadeth, Metallica, The Almighty, Diamond Head, Blind Melon, Soul Asylum - I have some great memories too of those times, the music, the people, the whole atmosphere, losing your hearing also disconnects you from this.

So why is tonight a new first?

Since I've had my cochlear implant I've been slowly rehabilitating myself with music. It's been a slow process, firstly because I've needed to purchase my favourites again, but secondly as I've had to patiently retrain my brain to understand what music is. I've printed off the lyrics and listened along, and I've fell in love all over again.

Tonight marks a very special 'new first' as I'm off to see my first big gig - AC/DC 'Rock or Bust' tour in Manchester - and I am beyond excited, it's going to be like hearing live music again for the very first time, as essentially it is. I have absolutely n idea how my implant is going to cope with the music and screaming fans, but I can't stop the fear stop me trying, I need to connect again.