Ludwig is getting an upgrade...

Days until upgrade: 20

It's been a long time since I was here.
Not just physically here on my blog, though I have checked in from time to time - when I have signposted others on the same journey (just checking that I still existed!) but emotionally 'here' too- if that makes sense.

So how come I'm back here again now?

Am I getting another cochlear implant, erm, nope! Would I want one if was offered to be, hell yes!

I'm here again as last week a rather unexpected email popped up in my inbox, from my lovely team in Glan Clwyd, informing me:

YOUR N6 PROCESSOR UPGRADE AND KIT HAS ARRIVED - WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU NEXT WEEK, PLEASE CONFIRM

Wow - huge gulp....

Now, when it comes to getting your technology upgraded its mostly an exciting time. New mobile - cool, latest iPad - yay, latest gen games console - geeky - but for some reason I simultaneously read the email and went yay exciting and oh for the love of God not again.

Maybe its time for a confession, we are gathered here today to witness that I, Emma Leigh, has kinda started to accept myself as the new me, cybernetics and all. Yeah yeah, there are still the random irritations of dud batteries, dud ignorant people, but on the whole, my life has been a whole lot easier since having the cochlear implant and I flipping well LOVE IT!

I understand the practicalities of an upgrade are not too onerous - just hooking me up and downloading new software, providing me with new hardware - sounds like an episode of something of Channel 4... - but what it means to me is that I've stopped looking at myself in the mirror again, I don't want to see photos of me again, because it feels like yet another reinvention.

Argghhh - I guess I am over thinking, but better out than in.
I'll investigate these questions of identity as I plod towards upgrade city over the next 26 days.