Number of sleeps remaining: 11
Today's thoughts:Letting go...
Gosh - Thursday already! Where has the week gone? I know I wanted to keep myself distracted but...
Well how's today been, bit on the weird side really - which seems to have been the popular consensus :) (Glad I'm not alone in my weirdness)
Thinking about letting go, of the person who I think I am now, the person I was never going to be - will the real 'Emma' please step forwards?
Losing my hearing sparked a kind of grieving process - and it took time. My memories of being a hearing person are still very vivid even now. Even though I can't hear the sounds I can still 'hear' the sounds in my head (gosh I'm making myself upset here, but hey, better out than in)
Things I can remember clearly:
- Taking my French Oral Exam at school, I could actually hear and speak in French!
- My Nanna's voice - it was pretty 'unique'
- My wedding day, saying my vows, repeating what the registrar said word perfect.
- My first baby crying, mewling away. Weirdly (sorry - it's word of the day) I could even hear her crying from the hospital nursery where she had been taken so I could get some sleep. I instinctively knew it was my baby.
What I can hear now - without the hearing aids that is!:
- Occasionally, low sounding rumbles...
- Most of the time, nowt at all
But being deaf is not a quiet experience - tinnitus rings away, or sometimes twitters away like an odd morning chorus - yep you've guessed it - weird!
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