Number of sleeps until activation of implant: 7
Today's thoughts: the sound of silence
I think I might have mentioned that I am currently reading a book called 'Rebuilt' by Michael Chorost. It follows the authors story of being implanted (in America about 10 or so years ago).
How I wish I had come across this book before - all the time when I really, genuinely did think I was losing my mind, I was actually going through a fairly normal transition. Pretty much every word written rings true for me.
Here is a short paragraph about the period before the authors implantation:
But most of all I have become an emotional creature I can't recognise. I'm sobbing in my car, sobbing in locked bathrooms, sobbing on my couch at home. To be sure, anyone would grieve for lost ears and fear an uncertain future, but these feeling are like a jagged slash torn in the beige fabric of my life.
I certainly recognise myself there, I expect those who know me would too.
The flip side of this, for me personally, is trying to come to terms with what I am now - gosh I sound so bloody self indulgent - but trust me on this one - it is a real challenge.
I am definitely going to put together information for the hospital (Glan Clywd) for adults undergoing the cochlear implantation process, particularly for young (!) adults who have become deafened. Hopefully my psychology studies will help. I desperately want something positive from my experiences to be helpful to others in the future.
On a lighter note - as it is the eve, of Christmas Eve (as my dear daughter would say!!) the shopping marathon is now complete - if I haven't bought it, I certainly won't be buying it tomorrow :)
I'm still waiting for my Hubby's presents to be delivered from Amazon (they should have arrived on the 8th of December - it appears that Royal Mail sent the parcel to Scotland and its been stuck in the snow ever since) - so I am going to have to be creative if they don't arrive tomorrow.
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